In Memoriam . . . A Journey of Sorrow
March 11, 2020
My Beloved Oscar:
Today I made the most painful decision to let you go. I have dreaded this day since you were placed in my arms at 10 weeks old. Fast forward 15 years and there is no age or time that I would ever want to say goodbye to you. I don’t know if I have the strength to watch you leave this world we created together. You were my little white clown puppy from the very beginning. Your lips were too big for your body when we first met. You brought untold happiness and laughter into my life with your adorable personality. It was not easy to find you. I wrote letters to breeders and traveled around the country. I never got to choose you from a group of other puppies.
They say our animals find us and that you did. On a warm summer’s day, a stranger traveled from Texas and handed you to me. She described you as a loveable clown and how accurate she was. You filled my heart immediately with unconditional love. Many nights throughout your life, you would lay beside me, and I would talk to you. You were the perfect listener. No matter what I said or did wrong, you never judged me.
I decided that I wanted you to go to work with me every day. This is the only fight we ever had with each other. You lasted two days in the office. It turned out you were right. I hired a dogwalker to take you to the dog park on our block. You played twice a day with any dog large or small. When you could no longer climb up or down the park’s steep stairs, I watched a part of you lose what made you happy. Every weekend you would go to our country house. You would lay on the deck and let the sun warm your aging limbs.
I took you to the beach only once when your legs were still strong. It was late fall. I was convinced you would run away, and I wouldn’t be able to catch you. But you never left my side. You taught me a valuable lesson that day as we both watched the waves crash against the shore. Home is wherever we were together.
I opened a twitter account for you in 2015. If you couldn’t play with other dogs in the real life, then I was determined to make new friends for you in the virtual realm. With social media, I started an animal community that traveled on motorcycles and had adventures around the world. Neither of us could have ever imagined the journey we would embark on. Your legacy that we created together will live on for generations of owners and their pets.
As we watch our last sunrise together, the tears are dropping from my eyes like fallen raindrops. I know I have to let you go. I can’t imagine the emptiness I already feel knowing tomorrow you will leave this earth. While your physical presence will be gone, I will look inside my heart every day to find you. Your job here in this life is done Oscar but our bond will never be broken.
I know when I look up at the sky on a clear summer’s night, you will be the brightest star shining down on me. It was my greatest joy and honor being your mother. Someday we will run towards each other again and I will wrap you in my arms for eternity. Goodbye my Oscar.
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